To Kaden, On Your 8th Birthday
Kaden,
You're 8 years old today. Eight. That's how many years I've loved you. You are now officially my favorite 8 year old, so I wanted to write you a letter for that.
You made me an Aunt for the first time. I tell you that a lot, don't I? I know. But there's a lot of wonder in that for me. I know I'm not your mom--you have a really, really great mom and dad and I will never be your parent--but just like learning to be a new mom, you taught me how to be an Aunt.
You don't remember, but I lived with you the first 9 months of your life, and those 9 months are something I will always treasure deep inside my heart. Your mom, she did an incredible job of raising you those first 9 months, and I'm so thankful she let me help. I got to help take you to daycare. I changed your diapers and fed you and burped you. I kissed your cheeks and watched your sleepy eyes close while I rocked you to sleep and sang to you. You pooped and peed and threw up on me (which prepared me for being a nurse) and somehow I still fell deeper in love with you. I got to see some of your first milestones-rolling over, eating baby food, sitting up on your own-and I celebrated every one. My heart swelled with pride at every bite of mushed peas you ate and every roll from back to belly and vice versa.
The night before you and your mom moved out so you could go live in your dad's town, your mom and dad let me rock you to sleep. I cried and cried and cried as I rocked you back in Kyle's room in the dark. I whispered to you and told you thank you for letting me learn how to be an Aunt for the first time, for letting me love you like my own. I knew I wasn't saying goodbye forever and that you would only be 2.5 hours away, but I also knew we would never have time like we did the first 9 months. I will never forget rocking you to sleep that night and thinking of all the ways I loved you and how much you had taught me in 9 months.
Today, you're 8 years old, and I've thought all morning about some of my favorite memories of you.
Do you remember when you were 2 years old and you did something bad and your mom told me to get on to you, and I did? You stood in the hallway bawling, like really bawling, for 10 minutes and refused to look at me or come near me... I still feel really bad about that! So I'm hoping you don't remember, actually. I still remind your mom of that when she gets mad if I won't get on to you sometimes ;)
Do you remember when you were 4 years old and we were watching cartoons on the couch and you looked up at me and said, "Aunt Z, I'll marry you if no one else will." It was one of MANY conversations we've had about your anxiety related to me lacking a husband (sorry for that, by the way. Working on it!) but it was so sweet.
Do you remember when you were 6 years old and you lost your first tooth and your mom almost passed out and Cma almost threw up? That was hilarious. I remember the way you giggled that night. And I remember thinking I had never seen a cuter, front-tooth-missing little person.
Do you remember last year when you started cleaning out toys from your closet because you wanted to give them to little boys who didn't have any toys to play with? You are so sensitive and kind. You have the sweetest heart, little man.
Thank you for thinking I'm cool. Seriously, thank you. I know you're 8 and one day you will be too cool to hold my hand in the parking lot, or beg to have a sleepover, or want to sit on my lap, or offer to marry me anymore. I'm soaking up all the cool I can get.
I didn't know I could love a tiny human like they were mine, even though I didn't birth them. You've taught me that. I've learned that an Aunt's love is fierce and deep, loyal and proud. I've learned how to kiss boo boos and tell monsters to go away. I've learned how to put aside all pride I've ever had and sing silly songs or dance around in public just to make you stop crying. I've learned that the little things turn out to be big things. I've learned that I tend to cry when you thank Jesus for me in your bedtime prayers. It is the sweetest thing! I've learned that being an Aunt is one of my favorite things in this world. I promise when I'm a mom someday I'll tell my kids to thank you for letting me practice some mom skills on you.
You're one of the best (little) men in my life. You hold open doors for me. You almost always say, "Aunt Z, you look so pretty!" every time I see you, and it makes my heart mushy every time. You come sit by me in restaurants, crawl up in my lap without asking and kiss me on the cheek, tell me secrets, wink at me from across the room. You are one of my best guys, Kaden Blake. I hope I never forget to tell you that.
P.S. I may have gotten teary-eyed while writing this blog. I just love you so much! More than I could ever write a blog well enough to explain.
Love you infinity x 1,000.
Aunt Z
You're 8 years old today. Eight. That's how many years I've loved you. You are now officially my favorite 8 year old, so I wanted to write you a letter for that.
You made me an Aunt for the first time. I tell you that a lot, don't I? I know. But there's a lot of wonder in that for me. I know I'm not your mom--you have a really, really great mom and dad and I will never be your parent--but just like learning to be a new mom, you taught me how to be an Aunt.
You don't remember, but I lived with you the first 9 months of your life, and those 9 months are something I will always treasure deep inside my heart. Your mom, she did an incredible job of raising you those first 9 months, and I'm so thankful she let me help. I got to help take you to daycare. I changed your diapers and fed you and burped you. I kissed your cheeks and watched your sleepy eyes close while I rocked you to sleep and sang to you. You pooped and peed and threw up on me (which prepared me for being a nurse) and somehow I still fell deeper in love with you. I got to see some of your first milestones-rolling over, eating baby food, sitting up on your own-and I celebrated every one. My heart swelled with pride at every bite of mushed peas you ate and every roll from back to belly and vice versa.
The night before you and your mom moved out so you could go live in your dad's town, your mom and dad let me rock you to sleep. I cried and cried and cried as I rocked you back in Kyle's room in the dark. I whispered to you and told you thank you for letting me learn how to be an Aunt for the first time, for letting me love you like my own. I knew I wasn't saying goodbye forever and that you would only be 2.5 hours away, but I also knew we would never have time like we did the first 9 months. I will never forget rocking you to sleep that night and thinking of all the ways I loved you and how much you had taught me in 9 months.
Today, you're 8 years old, and I've thought all morning about some of my favorite memories of you.
Do you remember when you were 2 years old and you did something bad and your mom told me to get on to you, and I did? You stood in the hallway bawling, like really bawling, for 10 minutes and refused to look at me or come near me... I still feel really bad about that! So I'm hoping you don't remember, actually. I still remind your mom of that when she gets mad if I won't get on to you sometimes ;)
Do you remember when you were 4 years old and we were watching cartoons on the couch and you looked up at me and said, "Aunt Z, I'll marry you if no one else will." It was one of MANY conversations we've had about your anxiety related to me lacking a husband (sorry for that, by the way. Working on it!) but it was so sweet.
Do you remember when you were 6 years old and you lost your first tooth and your mom almost passed out and Cma almost threw up? That was hilarious. I remember the way you giggled that night. And I remember thinking I had never seen a cuter, front-tooth-missing little person.
Do you remember last year when you started cleaning out toys from your closet because you wanted to give them to little boys who didn't have any toys to play with? You are so sensitive and kind. You have the sweetest heart, little man.
Thank you for thinking I'm cool. Seriously, thank you. I know you're 8 and one day you will be too cool to hold my hand in the parking lot, or beg to have a sleepover, or want to sit on my lap, or offer to marry me anymore. I'm soaking up all the cool I can get.
I didn't know I could love a tiny human like they were mine, even though I didn't birth them. You've taught me that. I've learned that an Aunt's love is fierce and deep, loyal and proud. I've learned how to kiss boo boos and tell monsters to go away. I've learned how to put aside all pride I've ever had and sing silly songs or dance around in public just to make you stop crying. I've learned that the little things turn out to be big things. I've learned that I tend to cry when you thank Jesus for me in your bedtime prayers. It is the sweetest thing! I've learned that being an Aunt is one of my favorite things in this world. I promise when I'm a mom someday I'll tell my kids to thank you for letting me practice some mom skills on you.
You're one of the best (little) men in my life. You hold open doors for me. You almost always say, "Aunt Z, you look so pretty!" every time I see you, and it makes my heart mushy every time. You come sit by me in restaurants, crawl up in my lap without asking and kiss me on the cheek, tell me secrets, wink at me from across the room. You are one of my best guys, Kaden Blake. I hope I never forget to tell you that.
P.S. I may have gotten teary-eyed while writing this blog. I just love you so much! More than I could ever write a blog well enough to explain.
Love you infinity x 1,000.
Aunt Z
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